In a most peculiar cabin, in a most peculiar woods,
Sat a most peculiar grouping of both sorts and livelihoods
There was a pessimist and an optimist, a serf and a king,
A mayfly and a druid, and a wiseman from Beijing
And a wiseguy, and a fruit bat, and a skeptic known as Tex
Even a realist, who just happened to be a Tyrannosaurus-Rex
Suddenly, with a flicker, the cabin’s lone lightbulb went out
But everybody just stayed seated and began to look about
To the king, who was the closest to the spare bulbs in the drawer
They said “You should change the lightbulb and light up the room once more”
“What am I even doing here?” said the king, “How did this come to be?
I have servants for my servants who swap out my bulbs for me.”
Turning to the serf, the king stuck up his kingly nose
He hiked up his golden crown, and brushed off his fancy clothes,
“For goodness sake I’m a king, It’s far beneath me to toil,
YOU should change the lightbulb, for I’m just far too royal”
“If THAT’s your stance,” said the serf, “If it’s THAT case you choose to bring,
Well then, I’m far too common to change a bulb that will shine upon a king”
With positions firmly taken, by both the serf and king
To the druid they turned next, to see if he would do something
“Why, I’m a druid”, he replied, “I’m aged a thousand years!
This is a task more befitting those with youth so it appears
To take some of my remaining time to change a lightbulb would be theft!
YOU should change the lightbulb, for I haven’t that much time left!”
“Time?” said the mayfly, “You’ve had a thousand years!
My whole life spans but one day, and yet I shed not such tears!
“You shout out your excuses, speak of youth, then stand there gawking,
Youth is relative! Mine passed by while you were talking!”
Yes, if excuses were shining bulbs in relation to that simplest of chores
Then that cabin in the woods would have been the brightest of all outdoors
So, to the pessimist they turned to see if he could lend a hand
For the sun would soon be setting, and darkness would grip the land
“I’m a pessimist by nature;” he claimed, “It’s a common trait and not a sin
But why bother changing the lightbulb? It’ll just burn out again.”
So to the optimist he turned, attempting his support to rally,
Saying, “YOU should change the lightbulb, this kind of thing’s right up your alley”
The optimist smiled as he replied, he was short and rather portly,
“That lightbulb doesn’t need replacing, it’ll flicker back on shortly”
To the wiseman they turned next, imploring him the bulb to fix
But it seemed he’d rather talk philosophy, literature, or politics,
Saying, “Ah that fabled screwed-in lightbulb, that socket absentee
Most men ask how many it takes, I simply ask which of you it will be
For I’m a wiseman full of knowledge I prefer to teach and not to do
I’ve studied lightbulb changing methods from here to Timbuktu
I can tell you all that’s known of lightbulbs, and I speak to you now wiseguy,
I’ll gladly teach you to change a lightbulb if you care to give it a try”
“Why’d I come on this trip?” questioned the wiseguy, “I should be at a resort, with a spa and sauna.
I ain’t changin’ no stinkin’ lightbulb, and that’s cus I just don’t wanna!”
“SOMEONE change the light bulb,” pleaded the skeptic known as Tex
“Fruit bat YOU should change the lightbulb; it’s not at all complex.”
“But I’ve no use for a new lightbulb I’m a bat, don’t you see?
YOU should change the lightbulb –I’m as blind as a me!”
“I don’t think bats are really blind,” Tex replied, “and it’s no joke or good-natured ribbing
To say that YOU should change the lightbulb as a punishment for your fibbing!”
The T-rex was last in line to face the pleas of the group,
As their shadows all got longer while the sun began to droop
He stated, “I’ve no reason, I’m a realist, I’ve the least to gain by far
My kind has gone extinct, but that’s just the way things are
I make my peace with situations, so hold no misconception,
YOU should change the lightbulb, because this one’s no exception.”
And that was it, the last had spoken, there was no further battle to be fought
Silence filled up the cabin, but a new bulb’s light did not…
Yes, in a most peculiar cabin, deep in woods of leaves and bark
Was the most peculiar group you’ll ever find… sitting in the dark.
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