with audio by Jordon Hodges
Apothecary Sam at his shop in Amsterdam
Four blocks left and then a right, or just two minutes by tram
It’s really hard to miss, a marvel in and of itself
Up the steps then through the door, hey well look it’s Sam himself!
“How do you do? Hello, good day, and come on in!
Let me show you what’s in stock! Where oh where should I begin?
“My Elements potion? the wind and the trees
Or my Jumping Bean potion? Clear a chasm with ease
“This is my Time Skipper potion, but only a minute
You can finish a sprint right before you begin it!
“My Sensationalist potion! Spin things out of control!
Make a literal mountain from the hill of a mole!
“This is my Palindrome potion, never odd or even,
Make as much sense backwards as forwards no matter the season!
“This vile holds my Victory potion, rack up the highest score!
Of course if you play hearts or golf, your opponents score more
“My Fliperoo potion, make what’s up come down
Or my Punchline potion, to become the class clown…
“…Mixing the two together is a thing you could do
A Clown Fliperoo brew –nothing, what’s up with you?
“My Asyndesis potion, look it up if you must
Or my Pâte sablée potion, that’s a type of pie crust
“My Parking Lot potion, always find a free spot
My Theater potion, never lose track of the plot!
“My Old Cliché potion, like a cracker for Polly
Colloquialism potion; Say! Now you’re on the trolley!
“I’m out of Love potion, it really is quite a shame
But I have something that should produce an effect that’s the same…
“Yes, my famed Dislike serum is somewhere hereabout
Makes ‘em dislike everyone else in proportion, so it all evens out
“Festivity potion! Makes any day Christmas Eve!
Or Recollect potion, to remember your keys when you leave!
“Here, take this Long Life potion! Mix it up with Good Health!
You pick out the second, grab any vial off of that shelf!
“What’s that you say? You can’t tell one from the other? Can’t tell them apart?
They aren’t even marked? No label? No chart?
“You worry if the second doesn’t contain Good Health, then what’s the use?
Just grab any vial that you like, they’re all just apple juice.