with audio by Jordon Hodges
John Handit, the bandit, he was on the run
Still he danced at the barn dance; he liked to have fun
They kicked in the doors and around him they lined
He went quietly at first, but then changed his mind
He hid out by the docks down by Midnight Bay
With a jar full of fireflies lighting his way
It wasn’t too long ‘til they spotted him there
He ran into a lighthouse on The Edge of Nowhere
He spotted a bathtub with a porcelain frame
He sucked in his gut and then dove down the drain
He hid in a cabin out in The Abstract
But the chase it continued; his footsteps they tracked
Again they closed in and they broke down his door
But he hid in a memory from three days before
And as they searched through the closets and underneath the bed
He escaped between the lines of what was unsaid
He ran to The Outskirts, but their search did persist
‘Til he scrunched up so small that he ceased to exist
Somehow or another he was back once again
Fleeing once more on a roof of hot tin
They found him a fifth time and closed in rather soon
So he bent at the knees and he jumped to the moon
They followed him still at their own great expense
And had found him on Neptune, in the past perfect tense
For he’d escaped rather quickly one moment after that
Through a wormhole he kept in a beat-up top hat
It plopped him back down on that same ol’ dance floor
He danced a quick jig… and then ran off once more
Don’t forget to pre-order Rumtum the Sailor here. Thanks for your support!
