“Tom Swishen, magician, at your service indeed,
Ah, you’ve noticed my jacket of the finest tweed.
I pull rabbits from hats, I can levitate sheep.
Hire me for your party, I’ll make it real cheap.”
“Sam Fizzard, the wizard, a pleasure I’m sure.
Just look at my cloak of the finest velour.
Listen to what I tell you, ol’ Tom is a hack.
I’ll make flowers appear, pull a goat from a sack.
I vanish in smoke clouds, with a noise like a bomb,
and I’ll do it all for much cheaper than Tom.”
“Sam promised you what? That trick isn’t so hard.
I’ll make doves disappear. Was this your card?
I’ll turn a boulder to licorice, turn one ring to three.
And I’ll tell you what else, I’ll do it all free.”
“Poor Tom’s kinda crazy, please cut him some slack.
I’ll make the crowd vanish, then bring them right back.
I’ll freeze a torch cold as winter then melt it like spring.
And if you book me now it won’t cost you a thing.”
“Sam’s all washed up, please pay him no mind.
My show is the best deal that you’ll ever find.
I’ll divide numbers by zero, make the word ‘orange’ rhyme,
Saw a snake into twelfths, and move back in time.
Hold onto your horses ladies and gents, if you hire me now, I’ll pay you fifteen cents.”
“Tom’s nothing but talk; what was his deal? I’ll match it.
I’ll teleport giraffes, fell a mountain with a hatchet.
I’ll turn a thimble to a cruise ship and all kinds of things.
Keep your eye on this ball while I tie up these strings,
Now your watch is gone, ha! The ball was a ruse.
Now the time has come, tell us which one you choose.”